Astana Hostel Showdown: Bro, You NEED to See This!
Astana Hostel Showdown: Bro, You NEED to See This! (Seriously, It's Wild!) - A Review That's Actually Real
Alright, buckle up. I just got back from Astana Hostel Showdown, and honestly? My brain's still trying to process it all. This isn't your cookie-cutter hotel review; I'm talking raw, unfiltered, "did I actually just experience that?!" kind of review. I'm gonna shove everything about this place into your face, the good, the bad, the utterly bizarre, and then maybe convince you to book.
First Impression: Getting In & Getting Around (Accessibility, Safety, and…Elevators?)
Okay, let's get the boring, but important stuff out of the way. Accessibility: They say they have facilities for disabled guests on the website, but I didn’t specifically check. They're also rocking an elevator, which is a HUGE plus. Lugging your gear up five flights of stairs after a long flight? No thanks! CCTV in common areas and outside the property made me feel pretty secure, and thankfully, there were fire extinguishers and smoke alarms, which, you know, are always good. The front desk is 24-hour, so that’s a relief if you have the late-night munchies or just need to complain about that totally annoying guy snoring in the next room.
Cleanliness & Safety: The Anti-Viral Crusaders
COVID times, am I right? Astana Hostel Showdown seriously went hard on the safety protocols. They’ve got professional-grade sanitizing services, and I saw the staff scrubbing down everything like it was their life's mission. Daily disinfection in common areas, rooms sanitized between stays… They also have the hand sanitizer and individual-wrapped food options stuff, the whole shebang. They also have room sanitization opt-out available which is important for some people. And the big one: staff trained in safety protocol - that's always good to know. I felt safe, which is a massive win.
Rooms: The Good, The Bad, and the Very, Very Sleepy
My room? Was…okay. Let’s call it “functional chic.” Air conditioning was a godsend, especially after sweating my way through the city during the day. They had free Wi-Fi in all rooms (a major win!), and the Internet access – wireless worked great. There was also, interestingly, Internet access – LAN, I’m assuming for those who really want a secure connection or maybe are playing some super-secret spy games. Internet (in general) was solid throughout the stay. The blackout curtains were perfect for sleeping in, but let’s be honest, I still woke up at 6 AM, thanks to the jet lag.
Available in all rooms: there's air conditioning, an alarm clock, bathrobes, bathroom phone (okay, a little weird), a bathtub, bedside reading lights, carpeting, a closet, a coffee/tea maker (essential!), complimentary tea, daily housekeeping, a desk, extra long bed, free bottled water (huge!), a hairdryer, high floor (thank goodness!), in-room safe box, internet access – wireless, ironing facilities, a laptop workspace, linens, a mirror (thank god!), non-smoking, private bathroom, a refrigerator, satellite/cable channels, scale (for those post-buffet guilt trips), a seating area, a separate shower/bathtub, a shower, slippers, a smoke detector, socket near the bed, sofa, soundproofing, a telephone, toiletries, towels, umbrella, wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], and a window that opens…whew! It's a lotta stuff. They have additional toilet available which is something I have not experienced before.
The non-smoking rooms rule is a blessing if you're like me, a non-smoker who hates smelling burnt toast! The interconnecting room(s) available and couple's room might be a hit for some. The room decorations were…basic. Not hideous, not inspiring. Just there.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Buffet…Oh, the Buffet!
Okay, buckle up, because this is where Astana Hostel Showdown really shines…or maybe just confused me.
The breakfast [buffet] was…legendary. I’m not even exaggerating. It was like entering a food coma factory. Asian breakfast, international cuisine in restaurant, Western breakfast… it was all there, and then some. I’m talking everything from questionable sausages to glistening, perfectly ripe fruit. The coffee/tea in restaurant was free, and the desserts in restaurant were a dangerous temptation. I may or may not have eaten twelve mini-cakes. Don't judge me.
They had a bar, a poolside bar, and a snack bar and a coffee shop, so you're never truly far from sustenance. There was also a restaurant, which featured a la carte in restaurant. I didn't try it, but they did have a vegetarian restaurant if you are into that. The bottle of water was always available, which helps you avoid death in the desert.
Restaurants: They also offer alternative meal arrangement that's ideal for picky eaters like yours truly.
They also offered room service [24-hour] which is amazing. The buffet in restaurant was an absolute highlight that kept my stomach super happy.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Spa Vibes & Poolside Dreams
Okay, listen. The swimming pool was a godsend. Just a beautiful outdoor pool. They also had a pool with view! I mean, come on, you're on vacation! There's a sauna, a spa, and a spa/sauna to cater to your relaxation needs.
Now, the Fitness center! I’m not a gym person, but I poked my head in, and it looked…functional.
And…get this…they had a Body scrub and Body wrap. I personally skipped these, but I definitely judged the people who looked like they enjoyed it from afar. My personal favorite part.
Services and Conveniences: The "I Need Everything" List
They’ve got everything, seriously. Need a concierge? Got it. Currency exchange? Yep. Laundry service / dry cleaning? Naturally. Daily housekeeping? Duh. Luggage storage? Check. Car park [free of charge]? Nice! They have car park [on-site]. Taxi service? Of course. It's the whole shebang.
The doctor/nurse on call is always good to know, and they even have a first aid kit for those inevitable travel mishaps. The convenience store is also a lifesaver. Food delivery is a must-have.
Internet Services: They provide Wi-Fi for special events Facilities and Events: They offer seminars with audio-visual equipment for special events.
For the Kids: Babysitting & Beyond!
Okay, so this place seemed super family/child friendly. Babysitting service is available. They even had kids facilities and kids meal options.
The Imperfect Moments: A Rambling Account of Reality
- The "Special Event" I Accidentally Crashed: I was casually strolling through the lobby when I stumbled upon some kind of gala. A seminar, they called it. It had a full LED display, and everyone was staring at it. (I'm still not sure what they were talking about).
- The Missing Soap and the Helpful Staff: One minor hiccup: I ran out of soap. Totally my fault, I used too much. But, I called the front desk, and within five minutes, someone was there with a fresh bar and a smile.
- The Buffet Battle: Okay, so I may have forgotten to mention the buffet was a warzone at times. You need to be a strategic planner. There were people grabbing so much food it was insane.
The Verdict: Should You Book?
Absolutely. Yes. YES! Despite my rambling, Astana Hostel Showdown is a solid choice. It's clean, safe, loaded with amenities, and has a buffet that alone is worth the price of admission. It's not perfect, but it's got personality, and sometimes, that's all you need. Is it the height of luxury? Nah. Is it an unforgettable experience? Absolutely.
My Recommendation: Book a room!
Call to Action: Book Now and Don't Miss Out!
ASTANA HOSTEL SHOWDOWN: Experience the Unexpected!
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Hostel Bro Astana: My Chaotic Kazakhstan Caper (AKA, How I Ended Up Eating Horse Sausage at 3 AM)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your pristine, Instagram-filtered travel blog. This is the REAL DEAL. My Kazakhstan adventure, starting and (mostly) ending at Hostel Bro in Nur-Sultan. Prepare for a rollercoaster of jet lag, questionable food choices, and a healthy dose of existential dread.
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Luggage Debacle (or, "Where's My Underwear?")
14:00 (ish): Landed in Astana (now Nur-Sultan, of course, gotta get used to that name change). Let me tell you, stepping out of that plane was like walking into a giant, very cold refrigerator. Kazakhstan in November? Brilliant decision. But hey, adventure, right? (Insert nervous laughter here.)
14:30: Took a shuttle to Hostel Bro. Found the place alright and found the front desk.
16:00: Disaster struck. My luggage. MIA. Lost for all eternity in the bureaucratic abyss of international travel. Cue the immediate surge of panic. Where were my clean socks!? More importantly, where was my lucky t-shirt that was worth more for sentimental value than anything else.
17:00: Managed to navigate the hostel's dodgy Wi-Fi and fill out a lost luggage report. The hostel staff were… well, they were there. Not exactly overflowing with empathy, but hey, at least they spoke enough English for me to point and mime my frustration (the international language of lost luggage).
18:00: Wandered aimlessly around the hostel. It's a pretty standard backpacker setup, really. Dorm rooms, communal kitchen with questionable cleanliness, the usual suspects of weary travelers. Met a guy from Germany who looked like he hadn't showered in a week, and a girl from Australia who seemed to have the entire Lonely Planet guide committed to memory. I stuck to awkwardly smiling from a corner.
19:00: The hostel had a small, sad-looking kitchen. Decided to try and cook. Found some sad-looking instant ramen in the cupboard. Cooked too much water, had a horrible meal. (Food poisoning! Or maybe just the aftereffects of plane food, who knows) Settled in my bed.
20:00 - 23:00: Tried to get some sleep because of jet lag but was impossible. Just felt anxious. At least the bed was okay.
Day 2: The Baiterek Tower & The Endless Cycle of Caffeine & Regret
9:00 (ish): Woken up by the sound of someone's alarm going off. Oh well. Breakfast was a sad slice of bread with some dubious-looking jam. Fuel for the day.
10:00: Braved the cold and made my way to the Baiterek Tower. And wow, the building is really something. It's like a giant lollipop in the middle of nowhere! The panoramic view was awesome. Though I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched by a giant, metallic eye. Maybe the jet lag was starting to get to me.
12:00: Coffee and a pastry. Needed the caffeine injection. Also needed some hope that my luggage would materialize. Still no news.
13:00 - 16:00: Wandered aimlessly around the city, trying to look cultured. Got lost in a vast park. Tried to interact with some locals but my Russian is… well, let's just say it's non-existent. Lots of pointing and gesturing.
17:00 Back to the hostel.
18:00: Had an interesting chat with an old dude who worked in the hostel. He was telling me the story of his life in Kazakhstan. It was pretty cool listening to him.
19:00: Tried to order more ramen but someone was using the kitchen already. Ended up eating some local pastries. (Oh god, the pastries. So dense, so sweet. I think I might have gained five pounds in one sitting.)
20:00: Feeling homesick. Just like how I felt that night I was trying to cook and got food poisoning.
23:00: Had an unexpected late-night conversation with a complete stranger. Found out my luggage was finally at the airport.
Day 3: The Bazaar & The Horse Sausage Conundrum (or, My Near-Death Experience With a Sausage)
10:00: Picked up my luggage! Victory! Finally, fresh socks! Was so happy.
11:00: Headed to the local bazaar. It was a sensory overload. The smells, the colors, the hustle and bustle… amazing. I bought some weird, dried fruit that looked like a dog's breakfast, but tasted shockingly good.
13:00: The horse sausage incident. Okay, here's the thing about Kazakh horse sausage (kazy): it's a local delicacy. And it's…interesting. A guy gave me some one night. The taste? Honestly? Pretty intense. Salty. Meaty. A bit gamey. Good in a weird kind of way. But eating horse sausage at 3 AM, cold, straight out of a plastic bag? Maybe not my best decision. It felt like my stomach was staging a revolt.
14:00: Regret. Pure, unadulterated regret. Followed by a mad dash to find a bathroom. Let me just say, the public facilities in Nur-Sultan are…rustic.
15:00-17:00: I ended up resting in my bed.
19:00: Met some more people in the hostel. Some of them were really cool. It was nice to spend time with them.
20:00: Thinking about leaving.
Day 4: Departure & The Unanswered Questions
9:00: Packed up my stuff (finally! No more living out of a backpack!). Woke up by the sunlight.
10:00: Tried to eat another pastry but I was still feeling a bit shaky from the horse sausage.
11:00: Said goodbye to the hostel. Met a girl that was coming to visit.
12:00: Headed back to the airport.
14:00: On the way home.
Final Thoughts:
Kazakhstan: It's… a lot. It's a place of stark landscapes, questionable food choices, and the occasional existential crisis. Would I go back? Maybe. But next time, I'm skipping the horse sausage. And maybe investing in a phrasebook. And a good therapist.
Hostel Bro: It's a hostel. It's fine. The beds are adequate. The Wi-Fi is dodgy. The kitchen is… well, you get the idea.
My trip: Absolute chaos, would rate it 8/10.
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Astana Hostel Showdown: Bro, You NEED to See This! - Frequently Asked Questions (And My Actual Thoughts)
Okay, seriously, what's the big deal about Astana Hostel Showdown? Why all the hype?
What kind of people hang out there? Is it… safe?
What's the accommodation like? Is it actually a "showdown" in terms of comfort?
What can you actually DO at the hostel? Is it just... hanging out?
Tell me about a single experience that stands out. Like, the ONE unforgettable moment.
What's the best part about it? What's the worst?
Would you go back?
